blasé

parked

2012-01-27T02:57:00.001+08:00

so i said there'd be pictures right? fast summary of day:

USS with brigette, mitchell, and b. the transformers ride is crazy, i love it, i need to go back to USS.

ate lunch there, sat ride after ride after ride, drank beer, sat ride, drank more beer, rides got faster. sobered up for transformers.

welcome to seemingly empty USS on a wednesday morning!

reminiscing the 2010/2011 times d;

PHOTOBOMB, BOOYEAH

welcome to far, far away. i just realised we didn't take a single ride here.

i haz dinosaur nuggets, chiu jelly?

bribri looks so happy here!

and i absolutely LOVE this photo.

think this bitch is the only woman who goes to USS and then goes on rides tipsy, with that hairstyle.

went home with brigette, sat around watching bridesmaids and painting my nails and using the computer, all at the same time, heh. started to get ready, then left first for le noir, then to attica. i do not remember the contents of my night very well.

(psst, vodka bottle right there. sohardcorememe.jpg)

barely made up.

come to think of it, i've never put both our photos together before!

almost done.

ultimate camwhore!

all done.

i swear brigette has 23436354 photos too but i can't be fucked to put them all up, especially since she edited it once and i edited it once so yeah.

le noir and attica, let's go.

andddd this was after the club cos i dropped our bags off at the counter.

can still camwhore when best friend passes out next to her, not bad. obamafacememe.jpg

yay photos in my blog, it's been a long timeee.

xx

single double triple

2012-01-26T20:44:00.000+08:00

last night was amazing. best night ever with my best friend and i loved every moment of it. can't forget to mention going to universal studios with brigette and mitchell. everything was perfect yesterday.

photos and a more detailed post up later perhaps! also, happy australia day everybody, and also to uncle joey, aunty darne and darling aunt margo.

chatroom 2010

2012-01-26T16:25:00.000+08:00

if you want something that plays with your head.

moon

2012-01-23T18:44:00.000+08:00

happy chinese new year guys and dolls. nothing turned out right, so i sat my fat ass home and ordered an upsized mcspicy meal for myself with 2 slices of cheese and the bun changed to a filet o' fish steamed bun.

how was your day of visiting?

plans

2012-01-22T13:11:00.000+08:00

reunion dinner tonight! no idea what i'm going to wear, but i surely don't give much of a damn. and then it's the first day of chinese new year tomorrow, and then we have another dinner with my maternal side of the family. i predict my cousin jeremy taking all my money in mahjong. i suppose this is the best part of chinese new year - the gambling! and only if you win, hah.

wanted to go to rupini's for eyebrow threading today, but i figured it would be mad busy (though it's in little india) and the 2nd nearest place is chinatown which would definitely be crowded. haven't gotten shoes but I'm just gonna pretend to myself that my heels are new. it's the thought that counts right?

i'm rambling and rambling about nothing at all, so if you actually read this, how awesome is this!? ;) i will be off now. goodbye!

real eyes

2012-01-22T00:27:00.002+08:00

i think i'm finally getting better.

:)

hello again

2012-01-21T01:14:00.000+08:00

so, i got tired of html coding and decided to just go with whatever i can get from the google designing page. i mean, it's the content that matters right? *consoles self*

this will not be a long post because i need to go to bed now because i am waking up at 8am to do charity work and then I'm going to get my hair done with mom and then go out with the family. every time i say 'family', i shudder because i think back to when i had godbrothers and godsisters. man those were the days.

i am going to go, as i have established above. i shall leave you with a photo of me and mitchell looking very attractive.

pffthhtttehttthhht, i made funny d;

okay toodledoo.

fire v2.0.4

2012-01-19T15:34:00.000+08:00

these days my mind seems to get the best of me. i think of all the perfect words to write, perfectly crafted in my head. but when i get down to actually penning these thoughts down, usually virtually rather than on tangible objects, i find myself hitting the delete key so much more often than actually typing anything that makes sense.

the above paragraph took me forever to write, and even that is just 1/5 of what i think. i wish there were another way i could express the rest of the fifths.

seek

2012-01-13T15:40:00.000+08:00

time for pity party #31947324823 of year 2012.

nothing good has happened these couple of days. just a lot of anger and sadness and all that kind of jazz, y'know.

doesn't helped that i lost my wallet, doesn't help that fucking comfortdelgro has useless phone operators, doesn't help too that i'm hearing things and valproic acid gives me so many bad side-effects that i am swearing off my meds for good and it doesn't help that you don't talk to me but i hate you i hate you i hate you fuck you i hope you die.

babydoll died.

first post of 2012

2012-01-11T20:56:00.001+08:00

and.. bye.

carols

2011-12-24T21:38:00.000+08:00

hello all, happy christmas 2011 to everyone!

am typing this with a santa's hat on my head. it does make me feel more festive though, and there's my christmas tree blinking green and blue and red and orange in all its glory.

so short update on life: nothing much. ty's parents are coming back, no more sleepovers/watching weird videos on youtube (youtube nipple reconstruction surgery) anymore, bummer.

nyeh, watched sherlock holmes with tyrone and mitchell and yt yesterday. robert downey jr. is as badass as fuck. loved it, 5/5! (give ALL the star ratings!)

skated after that, then went over to jt's to stay and visit sugar. :)

and now I'm home.

things that i'm glad happened today

2011-12-22T01:50:00.000+08:00

meeting jt and mitchell and tyrone and james
playing a pretty good game of dota
winning against mitch and ty about how girls hold hands
kitty lying on me when i was lying down on tyrone's floor
kitty letting me scratch her
kitty giving me a kitty kiss
cloud-gazing
long talks with old friends
skating
punggol nasi lemak
f.r.i.e.n.d.s

:) basically happy today.

shazam

2011-12-17T12:29:00.000+08:00

been in strange places, both in my head and in real life. it's been a real journey, can't say i haven't enjoyed myself just a little.

mitchy is back in singapore for a month and a half, saw him the other day for a couple hours when when lucas, jt, him and i went over to ty's to chillax and stuff.

spent yesterday watching pointless movies, talking, smoking, and the night ended with dad fetching me from tyrone's with me carrying a fat blanket filled with duck feathers cos I'm hardcore like that.

that is all.

trip

2011-12-10T14:04:00.003+08:00

finally brought my board out yesterday. met tyrone for you're the apple of my eye (watched it the second time), dinner, and then re-met jt and nigel and his friends for beer at acid bar.

went home after that.

nothing much has been happening.

too young to feel this broken.

bland

2011-12-07T11:01:00.002+08:00

lost myself a little ways back again. i insist on playing hide-and-seek with myself.

moose

2011-11-30T11:59:00.001+08:00

12degs here at roxburgh park and all seems really surreal. i really don't want to go home and try and continue fixing my life.

on the other hand, can't wait to see jt. aussie's seen him, and helen was all like, 'awh he's really shy, isn't he?' haha.

aite, this be all. gonna get me a cuppa.

hello

2011-11-29T18:35:00.000+08:00

finally got internet! just a quick hi before i head back to singapore tomorrow.
had a blast here in aussieland and to be honest all i miss back home are jeremy and the hamsters. oh and the dog, hahaha.

anyways, love it here though it is getting hotter. summer's round the corner but the moment i stepped down from the plane it was 17degrees. plus the wind i bet it was much colder. d;

oh wells, that be all. didn't think it was possible, but spent AUD$351 in kmart itself. major feat i reckon.

off i go then.
love from the down under,
tilly (uncle joe has taken to calling me that now)

memory

2011-11-23T12:43:00.000+08:00

just saying, daddy recently bought this tiny little tube of scar cream for $77, but it seriously works wonders. i was skeptical at first, but i am living proof it works. gonna try it on my skateboard scar soon and if it works, god forbid i'll skate every fucking day and pop wheelies and all that kinda crap.

anyway, if any of you are wondering/need scar cream, it's called kelo-cote and available at pharmacies, though i'm not sure if guardian or watsons carry it. daddy bought it at a hospital.

loves.

lots of photos

2011-11-22T13:44:00.000+08:00

just gonna caption them. really don't feel like elaborating much.

lilyn & me at shelly's bbq.

so this is the wrong way, sorry.

jt and nigel.

bakerzin

prettiest pair of heels ever.

took a look at them again yesterday, decided I'm not buying it. :D

pics of us at javier's with raiyern(is it??) and huimin.

pictures of sugar baby.

darren!

the people in mccs.

fail pics with byron cos the light was too dim.

motherfucker who can't keep his eyes open.

weixin!

point proven. i turned flash off for him and his eyes still remained closed.

the difference is crazy.

2dacrubz

2011-11-19T09:33:00.000+08:00

so, zirca for smash#2 or some shit like that 2 days ago. it was a last minute thing and bri came along with me. hung out with her mates for awhile outside and got a guest list so luckily for me i had a really short queue. like, 5 minutes long?

went in and the crowd sucked. swear we're getting old cos we could dance for 6 hours non-stop last year (almost exactly a year ago, and i wore the same thing as a memory hee) but that day we pretty much lost a lot of stamina. :(

after getting pissed at the usual fuckers who walk around and stand around doing nothing on the dance floor, bri decided to fulfill one of the things we always talked about but never did. yeah we finally danced in the cage. hahaha. and guess who decided to show up. simon!

funny thing was he came up and said hi and then offered us mints which people thought were drugs. it was quite funny, hahaha. then he went off after that.

went out and saw byron and ian and darren and so many other people!! life complete.

hung out some more and then went back to dance a bit and then grabbed our bags then went to maccas for supper-ish. bri went home first. hung with the manjusri people till i have no idea what time but yeh, then went home and till now i have not gotten 8 hours of sleep. fuckkkk my life.

i'm off. photos in the camera but i'm currently hating on my mac cos i don't have photoshop on it. and i'm oddly insecure without it.

rant

2011-11-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

i hate how i don't have photoshop in my mac and i hate how i look in photos and i hate how it's so hard to look at files in the fucking mac.

so many photos, so little determination to get shit done. ;)

on a whole other note, met jewel up today. gorgeous as usual. saw adrian and his people, and yeah that's about it. talked non-stop for an hour plus hahaha.

0730

2011-11-15T16:14:00.000+08:00

woke up at 7ish. got all fidgety and restless and brigette decided to txt me so we had this crazy idea to go out at like, 9 in the morning.

got to town at 10 and we wandered around talking and smoking and doing senseless shit. saw a pair of heels i so dearly fell in love with at topshop for $159. motherfuckers didn't have my size. #lifeisover

had lunch at the coffee club. more brunch than lunch, really. walked to scape after and met rbi's friends. accompanied them at javier's for lunch and then left for home. here i am.

one of my family friends just passed away. wasn't really close to her, but she pretty much was with me while i was growing up. haven't seen her in ages - daddy was pretty shocked that i wanted to go to her funeral, haha.

anyway, it's 4.12pm and i'm stoic and alone right now. don't get me wrong, not lonely. just alone. me, and my 3 hamsters. speaking of my hamsters i should prolls clean them soon. have approximately 3 more hours to kill before the parents get home to fetch me to branksome.

need some ice-cream to cure myself.

bye dollfaces.

sorry

2011-11-14T16:04:00.001+08:00

i tend to over-complicate matters. sorry.

random

2011-11-12T20:07:00.000+08:00

iwan rheon possibly just became my favourite actor in the world. yes i mean i adore him more than i adore tom felton. this is all happening too quick!

2011-11-12T13:40:00.000+08:00

nights spent with bri and lex. :)

ouch

2011-11-07T21:13:00.001+08:00

i know i don't have pretty words to pen,
but that doesn't mean i'm ugly inside.

2011-11-07T21:06:00.002+08:00

panic/relax

2011-11-04T23:30:00.002+08:00

said the stupidest thing to the boy who loves me the most today. i apologise.

..woke up listening to owl city, gonna sleep listening to owl city.
favourite.

bruised

2011-11-03T19:39:00.002+08:00

i have a couple of memories i wanna keep. i don't know how to do it cos it's over and i can't videotape it, i can't shoot photos. my brain's not all that good you see. i'm scaring of losing these memories more than i'm afraid of losing you.

i have a couple of memories i wanna keep, so that when you're gone, i'll still feel like i'm living.

i see you, and you're slipping away. you're slipping through my fingers and no matter how hard i try i can't seem to find a good enough grasp. you're almost gone, but yes i'm scrabbling for dear life.

'reality's a lovely place, but i wouldn't want to live there.' - the real world, owl city

define me

2011-10-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

would post a couple pictures but i haven't figured out how to put an SD card into my mac. :S yes i am an idiot, i know. i can always buy the SD adapter but i just cannot be fucked for now can??? not to mention i'm totally broke. #lifesucks

so anyway, life has been..... to say the very least, mundane. well, i'm trying to stabilize everything and hopefully it all turns out well. i need to say something to the general public though i'm not too sure how many people still read this. still, i think if i don't confess it to myself then i will never get better. (plus i'm tired of answering people's 'eh why you not in school? you fucking rebel leh! hee hee hee *smacks on shoulder jokingly*' things) alright, post maybe later. i should be asleep. don't know why i'm not feeling right.

met jeremy today, talked to mond on Skype and he's so buff now! all the singaporean girls would jump all over him when he comes back - which he isn't this year. :( but yeah, so hung around for a bit, then took a cab down to ion cos it was raining. ate dinner at watami, went to paragon for dessert which only i ate. i ate so much today i surprised even myself, haha. i'm disgusting. blurgh.

okay i'm feeling tired already. so i will abruptly stop here and sleep for the 21 hours i have in my life. the other 3 are meant for staring at computer screens, poking hamsters, playing tiny tower and nyan cat, and also being mad at practically the whole world especially myself.

good night and peace be with you all. fuckers. ^^

fuck you still

2011-10-25T22:44:00.002+08:00

i don't give a flying fuck if you are mad at me. FUCK. YOU. still.

there goes

2011-10-25T11:14:00.002+08:00

i'm going to town today, paragon, to be quite exact.
..just saying.

as good as it gets

2011-10-24T23:43:00.001+08:00

Carol Connelly: Is it a secret what you're doing here?
Melvin Udall: I had to see you.
Carol Connelly: Because?
Melvin Udall: It relaxes me. I'd feel better sitting outside your apartment on the curb than any other place I can think of or imagine.

cryptic? not.

2011-10-24T23:39:00.000+08:00

honest to god i'm so mad right now i need to get this out of my system. i don't know and i don't give a fuck if you read this because i can't be fucked anymore about whatever consequences that will arise after this post. but if you're reading this, good. because now i can tell you - you're just like every other person.

you are, you really are. you come into my life (quite by accident, but that's how people make friends i'm sure) and we became good friends. we stopped talking for awhile cos i admit if i were your girlfriend i'd be mad pissed too. anyway, after that we restarted talking again and you helped me. you told me you were gonna be there for me (and if you are his girlfriend and you are reading this - 'there for me' does not mean he'll be there to cuddle me or kiss me to bed or all of that bullshit), be it on the phone or whatever. so i trusted you cos in one of my conversations you told me to 'calm down, i'm not like others.' whilst i hyperventilated and accused you of being the same of the rest of the inhumane humankind. i believed you. and the worst part? you knew. you knew what happened before. i told you everything there is to know about my past friendships with people and why i can't trust anymore and now you tell me 'think you should stop talking to me'.

fuck. fuck all this. if you're not ready to be needed, don't fucking offer it in the first. fucking. place. if you were about to leave, why didn't you just do it the first time, when i wasn't so attached to the fact that someone would be there for me?

you know what? i'm tired of all this bullshit humans give me. you gave me hope in humankind but after this - seriously i'm fucking tired of rumors and backstabbing and all that kinda crap. i didn't do shit when i wasn't with jeremy and i'm not about to when i am in a relationship. i just wanted to be your friend, was it that hard? am i that hard to maintain a friendship with?

i hope you read this. and i hope you get furious. and i hope after you get furious you'll feel sorry. and when you feel sorry you can just tell your fucking self to be happy and you'll be happy and yay there you go. perfect life. have a nice life, asshole. you're not someone to me, you're someone in a body of people. go fuck yourself.

milky way

2011-10-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

day at change with the parents, jt, and nigel. had lunch at changi. ^.^

went out with claudia the other day! met up and went to bugis. i actually bought clothes from bugis street - shocker there. HAHA. went to tampines, talked, had cake - it's like every time we go out we have cake haw haw.

claud taught me how to tie a bun! i know, i am 17 and i can't tie a bun. #foreverfail

okay fuck i'm far too lazy to move all the photos to suit the timeline so i'm just gonna group them. hahahahaha.

went out with lilyn yesterday to town! but before that, daddy drove me to ion & bought me a macbook pro. i think i'm driving him to bankruptcy. first a g12 then a 13" macbook. didn't want the bigger one cos it's so bloooody heavy! even this is 1.5kg.

anyway, made a new friend there. his name is alvin so you guys can go stalk him at the epicenter, just don't say i sent you d;

crazy amount of photos. lilyn is a nutty camwhore. i say that in a good, loving way d;

WE SAW NICKY WE SAW NICKY!!!!!!!!!! thought he was still overseas but lilyn & i were talking and we saw him!!!!!!!

random pic of the first day i got my g12. i'm sitting on jt and he's dota-ing at a lag shop HAHA.

this is from the day tyrone, brigette, dullah, and eugene went out with me to celebrate tyty's birthday d; we watched 'the thing' and i kept screaming. ty loves watching thriller shows with me ;)

random photo that i LOVE because snowy is showing so much love in this and though orson's just like 'wtf bitch' i still love it. they are the cutest dogs ever! & they belong to nigel.

so yeah, today is stay home, edit photos, sleep a lot, eat like crazy, and fiddle with macbook day! :) bringing grandmere out for dim sum tomorrow at red star after she goes for her physiotherapy, then daddy's fetching me to meet jt. it's been nearly a week since we've met. he's been terribly busy with his projects. :( poor boy.

so that's all. cheerio.

red.

2011-10-10T10:48:00.000+08:00

had a great time at reddot brewery @ dempsey the other day! which day was it? i think it was a saturday hahaha. anyway, met yifeng and maejeen first, lilyn and huimei came after. had food and beer, but the beer wasn't really to my liking - was kinda too light :S

mmyeh pizzaaaa

that is lilyn and me doing something jeremy cannot do, hahaha.

hi. HAHA love this photo to bits!

left to right: yf, mj, hm, lilyn :)

he looks so reluctant to take photos with me! :( it's okay, i'll keep trying ;)

candid shots. joking, they were meant to look like candid shots. pass? hahaha.

cutest.

heh this is gonna be my fb display pic.

wanted to take a standing up pic with mj haahha.

loving yifeng's jealous hand on the left. hahaha so sexuaaal.

all the girls :)

lotto!

very happy cos lilyn kissed me ;)

walking out of reddot!

hee.

thought about where to go, wanted to go play gmax but yifeng was like, 'omg no we will all vomit the moment it goes up.' hahaha. in the end, went home. but we dawdled for so long that it started to rain cats and dogs. shared a cab with huimei and lilyn, then went home, washed up, brought the dog in cos she was damn scared of the thunder, and slept. :)

been a long time since i've gone out with a couple mates. i loved it! :)

day #6

2011-09-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

hey baby,
heard it's cold in switzerland, hope you're doing well! it was great whatsapping you today :3 and i'm glad you had a nice breakfast.

miss watching scrubs with you. when you come back i'm gonna watch all the episodes with you again. can't wait. the whiteboard on my fridge is counting down the days till you get back.

sniffles, babydoll and jellybean are at chermat ahma's house. korkor jeremy is taking care of them. fingers crossed that ahma won't feed them nonsensical stuff. today she asked me more than 10 times in the span of an hour (in hokkien) who was gonna take care of them cos she doesn't know how to. incidentally, godma told me she used to let her hamsters roam free around her house and every morning it'd be outside her door, standing up on its two hind paws and looking at her. how cute is that?! why are our hamsters so stupid? :(

anyway. hoping i can stay up tonight to skype you. :)

love,
tilly

day #5

2011-09-20T20:59:00.002+08:00

hey baby,
realised today that i haven't eaten mcds since you left which is 5 days which is quite a feat judging from the fact that we used to eat mcds every other day at the very least! so today i ordered maccas. HAHA i am so horrible. tasted different from when we used to eat it together though. :(

okay this will be such a chore for you to read so i am ending here. remember i love you always!

love,
tilly

day #4

2011-09-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

hey baby,
went out today, after so long!! didn't manage to find you a earpiece but i promise when you come back we'll go look for it okay? :) btw, the macbook charger is giving up on me.. it's not really charging anymore and i have to shake it really hard before it decides to start charging..

nothing new happened today.. missing you as usual. it's been 4 days since i've heard your voice omg! :O what a feat hehe.

are my posts getting shorter and shorter? :S just didn't wanna bore you with the same old things. oh. claudia passed me the mealworms today, and ken bought the hammies some new food! it has prawns in them. our hammies are leading such a good life hahaha.

okay that's all. macbook isn't charging, zzzzzz. really need to go buy you a new one. can i blame sugar? :S :S :S

love,
tilly

day #3

2011-09-18T19:17:00.000+08:00

hey baby,
9 more days till you get back! :3 it's 1.14pm over there in Europe. wondering where you are since txt messages are frikin expensive and your phone bill would probably hit the roof if we keep txting like how we did this morning.

today wasn't a good day. jie went off to KL, but she might come back next weekend. she wants me to fly up to meet her, but you know me - i'm not as independent as that. hahaha.

i swear when you come back i'm gonna spend many, many days with you 24 hours a day. plus i'm gonna blame you for leaving. :( whyyy did you leave me here in singapore!

miss you like mad and i hope the next 9 days pass really quickly. there isn't much for me to do here in singapore by myself but terrence is being fucking awesome (tell you if you come online or when you get home!) haha.

by the way bubby, can you tell me.. how many times do you think of me each day whilst you're in Europe? :( come back soon, safe and sound!

love lots,
tilly

day #2

2011-09-17T21:42:00.000+08:00

hey baby,
happy 2nd day in rome! glad you got a europe number so at least i can contact you. i think it's marvellous how txt messages get sent so fast throughout the world! :3

hmm.. today ee lily, ahma, korkor jeremy and jie's friend (potato haha) came to celebrate ahyang korkor's birthday! jie bought him an ipad 2. like a boss huh. i didn't get him anything :S

anyway yeh, we went to mookata. everyone liked the food! but eating there really reminded me of you. :( korkor jeremy got so tired of my whining that he said he'll send me to the airport to fly to europe now. LOL. wish i could :(

jie is going to KL for 2 months for a business trip. i'm thinking if i wanna go since you're not in singapore anyway. i'll be more #foreveralone than in singapore though..

sigh, wonder if you will ever read these posts when you're in rome hahaha. keep having thoughts that you'll leave me when you come back. :( really hope my psych will give me drugs that will stop me from thinking LOL. fail.

miss you wanna kiss you.

love lots,
tillss

day #1

2011-09-16T19:47:00.000+08:00

hey baby,
happy first day in europe, rome! hope you're having a blast <3

if you're wondering, i had a good sleep, probably thanks to my pills. woke up missing you though. was pretty reluctant to start my day cos i knew i wouldn't be seeing you today. still, managed to wake up and do some productive stuff.

cleaned the hamsters' cages today! they look reals happy but jellybean keeps squeaking, i don't know why. hopefully he's not in pain. :/ also, i studied for like 4 hours! and jie got so pissed at me cos i kept whining for you, hahaha.

i'm gonna go to parkway soon cos it's aykk's birthday celebration tomorrow (nothing big, so you won't miss much) and we're gonna go get his present and whatnot.

thanks for txting me bubs! really got me through the day. missing you like crazy and i hope the days past reals fast for me and that you enjoy it all.

love,
tilly

pre-math

2011-09-15T23:11:00.000+08:00

really hoping no one reads this blog anymore because then i'd be awfully embarrassed.

anyway, hi! you're in the airport waiting to depart singapore and i already miss you! honestly wondering how i'll survive the other 13 days. that's all i have for now. wishing you'd come back in a jiffy and watch scrubs with me and try out brazil churrucso!

<3;
tilly

hello

2011-08-26T23:11:00.001+08:00

drunk but I still hate all of you.

blank

2011-08-18T22:37:00.001+08:00

the red goes deep tonight.

mundane day

2011-08-18T02:42:00.000+08:00

hi whoever who still reads this.

today, i woke up in jeremy's bed. then, we mooched around a lot and ordered delivery from pizza hut. we ate a regular pan hawaiian pizza, 10 honey roasted wings and 2 loaves of garlic bread. we also bought a 1.5l bottle of pepsi. we ate while watching an old channel 8 show. we couldn't finish our food. (it cost $36.70) then, we watched drew carey's improv-a-ganza and i fell asleep (for the 2nd time in the day). when i woke up, we continued watching, then i went to shower and we went to nex. we ate at a food court and went for yoghurt at soghurt on the 4th floor. it was yummy. we took a bus home. it was bus number 43. the driver sucked. we reached home but we missed the 9oclock show - on the fringe. saw the commercial for the next episode. we played a bit of flip poker cos i miss poker so much. hacked into our neighbour's internet connection which i didn't realise we could. after that, jeremy went home and i am here talking to timothy on facebook. that is all.

anger

2011-08-14T21:57:00.002+08:00

WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU CARE, WHEN TRUTH IS YOU NEVER DID RIGHT FROM THE START?

past

2011-08-14T01:58:00.002+08:00

I JUST REALLY, REALLY MISS US, OKAY?
all of us..

awh man

2011-08-13T00:05:00.001+08:00

haven't been broke in pretty long but oh well.. wish i had money.

lots of it.

spurts of thoughts

2011-08-12T04:06:00.000+08:00

alright sit the fuck down, and blog. go.

i'd say this is the same for all relationships, we all have to lose to realise how much we truly love. i don't want to lose you, nor do you want to lose me (right?). actually i have no clue what i want this blogpost to be about. actually, why yes i do. i initially had an inkling of thought to talk about how weird when we're together with someone and we think of him or her as a wonderful choice and that you've never loved like that before/will never love again. but then you do (SURPRISE!!)

start over: you know how it is? i know how these things work. when you're with someone and you feel like you'll never love again, or that you've never loved before. i suppose it's because every time we get into a serious relationship, we want the other party to feel special. we want to like our choice is special. then if break ups happen you realise all you said before was bullcrap. you just lied to yourself to make yourself feel better (don't we all?) and.

mental feelings: mindblown, confused, curious, disbelieving, incredulous, upset, happy, sad, pissed, awake, stupid, trapped
why: mindblown - cos i cannot understand why i chose to delve into the past when i know i would see things i wouldn't want to see. / because the human mind is so goddamned complex you don't know what you frikin want
   confused - how does this whole feelings thing work? have i gotten it figured out?
   curious - i need to know how this works. i need someone to reason with. i understand that i have felt this way, but how come we feel this way??
   disbelieving - really, tillss? right now, at 4 in the morning, you blog this kinda crap AND stalk your boyfriend's past? way to go for not breaking your own heart and hurting your mental health, dumbass.
   incredulous - trust yourself to understand if you read stuff.
   upset - my boyfriend is gonna kill me. this isn't the first time this happened.
   happy - my boyfriend's cute when he wants someone. and pretty sincere, i must say. plus, i don't know it's a maniac happiness. pretty cool to witness, really. i go from happy to sad in 3.9seconds, just like a ferrari.
   sad - my boyfriend loved before, tried getting girls the same way he tried getting me, and also, said things to them he says to me.
   pissed - why did my boyfriend love before / why wasn't i his first love / why am i getting myself into emotional turmoil intentionally / why am i pissed at my boyfriend even though i understand that this is all insecurity on my part?
   awake - if my mind could juggle, it'd be juggling 21 balls right now.
   stupid - look above AND t the whole post. point proven, no?
   trapped - i can't go away cos babydoll might get attacked by ants or roaches / why did i fucking do that / why am i blogging this / why am i not deleting this / i have so many questions that i cannot answer i think that makes me stupid / i am blogging this at 4am even though i should be sleeping / dumbass putting yourself into grief knowingly.

bottom line: i'm upset because you loved before. because you felt like you'd never love again. because you swore to yourself (at some point, i bet) that you never loved someone so much before. ..but we've all felt like that in every single serious relationship. i have, you have, my neighbour has, my dog. well probably not my dog but yes, my friends have. point is, i know what it feels like, and it feels pretty damn awesome when you're in a relationship and you feel like that. i like that invincibility. it's like you've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with and maybe it'd work out and you'd feel like that forever. thing is, they don't usually work out. they end, sometimes tragically, sometimes mutually, and you go on to someone else and thinking, 'hey i wanna make it work with this person. i've never loved someone this much before/come to think of it, i've never loved in my life!' and the whole cycle repeats. i am the victim of these vicious thoughts. they come and never go as they frikin please and if that isn't frustrating, i don't know what is. also, i hate how 'morning babygirl, i love you and you were the first person i thought about when i woke up' becomes 'morning babygirl, loves.' and then gradually fades to a 'morning.'. i know this was on tumblr, but it's also how i really feel. that's why i attempt to show romance all the time. sometimes it doesn't work, but hey i'm trying. i will now get over it, and not self mutilate because i know you'll be mad and i'll hurt so that's stupid. if you read till here, give yourself a pat on the back and maybe an encouraging word to me. i probably won't reply if you weren't anonymous but yeah thanks. and jt, i love you. you know that.

p.s. show me more affection, it's cute how sincere you were in tumblr (pages 16-20ish) to i have no idea who (your former romance details are still kinda hazy to me) and that post in november (or december) made me listen to missy higgens. sooo... it'd be nice. no pressure. i know it's been more than half a year and yeah, romance usually runs out around here. be pretty friking sweet if it doesn't, but we'll see. okay bye.

maybe

2011-08-12T03:17:00.000+08:00

probably not a good idea to delve into your boyfriend's past, especially since you hate the fact that he has been in love before, plus it's 3.16 in the morning, no one is gonna hear you whine and cry about the past no matter how stupid it is. so here's what i'm gonna do.

i'm doing it anyway. i can pick up the pieces as i go along. ;)

strangely ecstatic. i love it when i feel as though i can do anything. these things take awhile to sink in. d;

loss

2011-08-11T14:27:00.002+08:00

one of my newborn hamsters have already died 1 day into the post-pregnancy.

why do i fail so much.

little things

2011-08-10T22:50:00.000+08:00

babydoll is stressing me out like crazy. i can't stop hovering over her cage ever since she gave birth and i know that's bad but i can't stop it. i need to know they're okay. this is borderline scary how i'm so obsessed over this situation.

i don't know what to do, she's making me cry. :(

korkuyorum

2011-08-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

you say that you love rain,
but you open your umbrella when it rains.
you say that you love the sun,
but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.
you say that you love the wind,
but you close your windows when the wind blows.
that is why i am afraid, you say you love me too.
- unknown

p.s. if anyone thinks this is by william shakespeare.. smh.

blown away

2011-08-06T11:31:00.001+08:00

truth be told I'd love to put it all behind, but last night saw me calling the best friend at 3 in the morning, hoping to be convinced of the right thing. he tried, no doubt he did. that didn't stop me from bawling last night.

I'm so confused.. why would people do this? it's so unlikely and there's no possibility, but how am I supposed to believe anyone or anything blindly? and to the informer, if you ever do see this.. you're fucking killing me here. I don't want a duel, I just want a clear, rational talk. you don't know what I've been through and you don't want to put me through this torment unless I've done something that really wronged you. all I'm asking for is an explanation. don't do this to me, I beg of you.

fastforward, look forth

2011-08-06T00:42:00.000+08:00

i have red hair now. else, nothing has changed these few weeks.

powerpuff girls

2011-08-05T16:23:00.002+08:00

yeah I know I started the fight, but as Bubbles once said: I don't like arguing. why can't we all just get along without fighting and shouting?

boo hoo fucking hoo. losing your patience at me? wonder what the next step will be. we've both broken a fair amount of promises. to think I still held on to the views of the optimist.

it'll all be better tomorrow, tomorrow might be good for something. that's all fucking bullshit. tomorrow's just gonna be another fucking day wrapped up in sorrows and bundled by hatred. and for all you toerags out there, you're all part of society's cruel grasp. one day you'll realise, and one day you'll know that no one's really there for you. they say they are, sure.. but when time comes and they open their sorry eyes at your sorry sight, that's it for you mate. sad to say, nobody stays forever.

fake

2011-08-04T19:23:00.001+08:00

I'm so angry and so full of hate and for the most part, really, really sad. you haunt me, everywhere I turn I see depictions of you. you shouldn't be allowed to do this. you no longer have the right to control me anymore. you're just another psycho boy and I shouldn't spend my days shadowed in those physical days. I'm happy now. I'm happy with Jeremy so get the fuck away.

follow me - @tillss_

2011-07-31T17:57:00.002+08:00

cos you guys like reading and scorning sad lives and attention-seekers.

I know, I do too. cheerio.

did you know?

2011-07-31T02:58:00.001+08:00

you don't need me like how I need you.

morning

2011-07-28T04:27:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep, but everyone else seems to do it just fine.

I'm allegedly fine now.

sugar-coat

2011-07-27T22:25:00.004+08:00

would you show me you love me as you did before?

plates

2011-07-27T08:57:00.002+08:00

i showed everyone i was trying, but all of them, including you, think it isn't enough.

so.. today i'm not doing anything, nothing at all.

hear ye

2011-07-25T22:22:00.002+08:00

everyday that I put off doing things that are of importance to my future, I feel better for that few hours. then when night falls and I have to decide my next day, I'm bruised and battered from the internal battle I fight every time my adrenaline runs out, of which is fuelled by my fickle mind and rebellious decisions.

to conform, or not to conform?
to be, or not to be?
to fuck it all, or to wake up and face this horrible, cruel, gruesome world of actors and bitches?

half the time I say, fuck it all. I'm going to go get myself inked. where? my whole sleeve, my whole back. heck, I'll ink my face. I'll get all the fucking body mods I want. (yes I am capable of earning that money, give me a month or 2)
the other half of me goes, what the fuck? in a more demure tone. (other part of me is supposedly a nice, quaint girl since dominant side is the rebellious fuck it all life sucks then you die kinda character) how if the world doesn't end in 2012? you're gonna be stuck cleaning floors for the rest of your sorry life if you go on like that.

I am a freak show in all its entirety. you should watch me talk to myself. maybe I should join the circus. round up, round up.

unsettlement

2011-07-16T02:07:00.002+08:00

it's my birthday today.

am I supposed to feel special? cos I most certainly

don't.

self decay

2011-05-30T14:19:00.000+08:00

how hard can it be to let go of the past? i've been trying to grapple with words and emotions, and i honestly wonder at times if it's just me who feels this way.

every flesh you traced, every whisper into their ears, it doesn't matter anymore if they were forgotten; in fact i don't know what i want from you. i don't know what i can want from you. you say i'm better than worse, i thank you for that.

airwaves

2011-05-28T14:02:00.000+08:00

watching angels and demons now. i think i've watched it before, but i just can't remember when.

work tonight from 5 till 10, then there's the barcelona vs man u match later on that jt and his mates are gonna watch. gonna torrent himym season 6 so i get something to do tonight. sucks that mond's parents are home, if not i could've stayed at his place, and i wouldn't need to torrent the season. :(

okay off i go, ciao x2

know yourself

2011-05-24T22:52:00.000+08:00

found my bad side. well, not really found; jt told me. i get jealous reals easily.

it didn't use to be like this. i'm just really afraid of losing you, that's all. i don't want and can't even imagine life without you poking my stomach and mimicking my om nom nom song. it'd feel like life is incomplete. this isn't one of those cheesy posts where i proclaim my love to someone i just met and am in a relationship with without any rhyme or reason as to why i love him.

i guess you could you say you were my first, and i'd do anything in this world to make you my last.

what's up folks

2011-05-23T22:41:00.000+08:00

been gone for so long, but if you would like to know anything, http://formspring.me/genizfiz cos i predict myself going on long breaks from my blog.

had tests the half of last week, and they're finally ending tomorrow. soo, had work on saturday and then after that we went to zirca. stayed at mond's place till 1isham playing ps3 and dota, then finally left for zirca/rebel. saw the boys there, and then accompanied mond for supper after everything. had 3 hours of sleep, and we were both up for work again. brunch service, hah.

timothy was there, and he was half stoned as well cos of his night out at zouk. jt was fucking slow that day and i managed to break 1 whole sugar container by casually sliding it off the table. it decided to knock against the chair and my hand slipped. spent quite awhile cleaning up sugar from the floor with timothy laughing at me.

3rd day since jt's stayed over, and it's gonna be really weird without him. 2 and a half hours of math tomorrow, but honestly speaking i can't be fucked to go. think i'll only go there around 12pm (starts at 10) hah hah. off i go. before that, a few pictures from photobooth.

had dental on friday, terrence came along with jt and we sexy people took photos. check out our sexy faces. we're beautiful as hell.

2011-05-18T21:07:00.001+08:00

for things less than omfglikeyeah.

oh, hello.

2011-05-06T01:31:00.001+08:00

must be a damn streak, the period I haven't blogged for. nothing much has happened, except bubbyboyy has started working at bronte as well. we get shifts together sometimes, and I kinda enjoy the job though some people get pissy sometimes and I get pissy back, haha. it's become customary for me to rush at any given opportunity to gush and coo about either an animal or kid/baby. I marvel over labradors and toy poodles, random stray cats and Charlie the bronte cat who is, contrary to my belief, a female.

GE coming up this Saturday. oops, it's the cooling off period so this topic is off limits. everyone should know who I'm supporting though. have made some pretty strong arguments regarding my support hahaha.

mm, finally saw Tyrone after forever. been dining at bronte more often since Jt's working there so Ty came over and we chatted. same day, I got addicted to dairy queen's blizzard. never bought it before but I loved it the minute the DQ guy overturned my cup of omnom-ness and passed it to me. (geez I hope eating DQ isn't a crime..)

still a little sore over friends and whatnot. thought I got over it but Tyrone just had to reappear :@ haha. you know in primary school when you do word associations? it was one of those times, and we all know who we associate Tyrone with.

Tricia my cousin left for NY last night. we had dinner together and sent her off. Jt and I left early. came home and I got moody over pretty much nothing, which probably pissed him off. I'm sorry, you're wonderful. :)

been so tired again these days. couldnt make it for most lessons. I blame it on my double decker bed. I get lazy to climb off it every morning.

ah well. bubs is at my place, sleeping. he has work tmrw and I have school. got my first paycheck, did I mention?

am going to attempt to sleep now, but it'd most likely be futile and I will most likely be sitting on the floor in just about 2 minutes, poking Jt at random intervals to see if he's really asleep. #sweetlife

lots of love and by golly, thanks for reading this post about nothingness.

photo log

2011-04-21T16:32:00.000+08:00

blog's been lacking photos. i'm in a rush and there a couple more photos from jt's birthday at hard rock hotel that i haven't uploaded but here are some.

this bear is called bearemy.

bubby came over for an early birthday celebration from my family :)

it's a pathetically small cake d;

din tai fung at resorts world sentosa. terrence refused to take a photo with me. :(

dinner with jt and his family @one rochester! ribs were mad awesome

recently obsessed with bears. this is thunder. we just created him like 3 days ago.

and.. R.I.P. McSleepy.

even though i have never met you, i still love you already. you're the best hedgehog marlon could ever have because unlike hedgie, you are not a huffer.

lots of love, matilda

really now

2011-04-18T23:47:00.000+08:00

finally went to a biology lecture today, but i didn't manage to sit through it. went out halfway to meet terrence for smokes, and damn the shit we do for a fag man..

so anyway, highlight of the day (minus the fact that i got to see bubs): people in charge of the vending machine near our designated smoking area finally refilled the combe snacks! fucking life fucking perfect. all of us literally ran to the machine, haha.

left during break - didn't go for history/social studies, i don't even.. so yeah, went to jt's watched 2 episodes of how i met your mother (whudup) and then left for plaza singapura after eating our lunch/dinner at 4pm :3

so yeaa, wanted to watch limitless.. but then we changed our minds and decided to catch scream 4 instead cos of the raves i've been seeing about it. then went to golden village, saw rio 3D was screening at 6.30pm, decided to go for that instead.

went to M1 to get my one-for-one exchange cos my home button for my phone is fucked up as.. well fuck. took pretty darn long, but got up for rio in time. rio sucked, wasn't worth the 4 and a half stars. or maybe i just don't like birds, lol.

after the movie, went to visit build-a-bear where jt bought me a bear for the heck of it. hehehe it's a boy, and he wears PJs. fucking cute as fuck. i shall post it on twitter once my phone is jailbroken and happy. whoops, didn't say that.

mehh, drank bubble tea when we came home, and jt just left, actually! i'm having cramps so bad and i'm so grumpy, once my phone's done i am going to die in my bed while txting jt.

vapid

2011-04-17T22:11:00.001+08:00

i cannot afford to not be cryptic and be all transparent on blogger because for all i know, you read this. you can't deny it - you're already here. so it doesn't really matter if you're two-faced, backstabbing, insert any other disgusting, horrible, bad personality traits here, because i have already come to terms with that. i honestly do not think i have deliberately offended any being so i don't want anyone, male or female, to come raining on my parade, because i am demonstrating a peaceful march; not organising a battle army. my life is full of colour and exuberance because i know who i am, and i am at peace with myself (most of the time). so pray, take your pity party elsewhere, because i'm sure thousands of people out there care for you, i'm just not one of them anymore.

uninspired

2011-04-06T01:02:00.000+08:00

i want to write. i want to compose something so badly, but i'm stuck even before starting. it's very frustrating, how there are so many thoughts churning but i can't regurgitate.

i'm not in a mood to do shit, and 'shit' includes sleeping. all i want right now is some hot chocolate, cold weather, and dota. i'm not even joking, i want to dota with jt beside me. i can see the perfect scenario and it's making me upset.

i get sad when friends get sad, i get depressed when close friends kill themselves and when the look of desperation gets to their eyes i don't know what to do. i find a need to be there for them and harm whatever is harming them. it isn't right to be this sad.

i need to write, i need to write all this angst away. fuckin' vicious cycle.

bearemy

2011-04-05T00:23:00.000+08:00

no pictures yet because they're in my phone/camera. not many to be honest, and most of them aren't even of the birthday boy. i wonder what it is with guys who dislike taking photos. :( he whined so badly when i made him take photos with me after dinner.

anyways, booked hard rock hotel for a night and people came over like um, james, mike, krichelle, javier, tyrone, royce, terrence. went for dinner at din tai fung and then james and mike went home, eventually it was just left with the rest of us.

played king, indian poker, and 'never have i ever' which i practically drank every round. thanks guys, hahaha. made jt drink a shot first cos he's the birthday boy! ^.^

was supposed to drink and then swim, but we drank for like 5 hours straight. krichelle and javier left after awhile, and we all just lolled around, got sentimental. jezuss.

jt and i KO-ed, the boys went out to azzura for the heck of it, then laura and her friend came over to crash :3 checked out today and jt came over.

ate lunch, then met krich and javier for LAN. subash came along; played a couple rounds of dota, got bored of getting pwned, so the 4 of us played audition. fuck, hahaha. i'm so tempted to buy a-cash for my audi character just for the heck of it but jt says i'm being dumb. :( so i didn't buy today because it's his birthday hahaha. well, since it's 12.20am, it was. :3

after LAN, left for bueona vista where jt's mom picked us up and we went to one rochester for jt's birthday dinner! shared ribs with him and had some cabonara and good buffalo wings yummyy ^.^

jt sent me home, then went home. :(

if you guys were wondering , i already gave him his presents. chipped in with a couple of people so altogether from my side he got like 3. haha. one is bearemy, a bear from build-a-bear, one's a pair of ray-bans, and the last one is this necklace that he insists on wearing.

ok so photos up some other day. i am exhausted, and there is school tomorrow. LIFE SUCKS. bye.

darling, i..

2011-03-31T23:32:00.000+08:00

bubby boy's birthday in 4 days (3 days in half an hour :3) and i'm pretty excited for him. :3

passed today meeting quite a few friends from different walks of life. met my bribri burger girl up today and she's still looking mighty fine. played pool, then jt went home for dinner while i went to plaza sing. missed him the moment i turned my back. yes, i am that clingy, sue me.

had dinner with tyrone after bribri left, and then took a train back home. felt different; this time i didn't really enjoy the silence. i no longer like having both sides of my earpiece plugged in anymore.

so now i'm home and feeling pretty drab and exhausted.

job interview tomorrow at 3.30pm, damn i hope i get the job cos if i don't i am so screwed. then again, there's an opening at bronte restaurant that i can go to, which is coolios because then i'd be working with brigette and tyrone.

abrupt ending - bye.

mistake

2011-03-29T10:45:00.001+08:00

sugar's back home with me, and it hasn't been 24 hours but i think she's traumatised enough by all the loud, sudden noises around my place cos of the darn construction going on beside us.

brought her back yesterday in a cab and well, i wish she enjoyed herself for the most part. she made friends with daddy, which is a shock cos usually only male dogs like dad.

jt and i went to parkway for sakae (i know, i know radiation, we will all die) and got into an epic argument guffaw. mom called us a total of 4 times, demanding for us to talk to sugar through the phone, and then called us irresponsible parents. -_- well that insult was partly also because i called her an obsessed grandma.

went to pet lovers to get sugar a new toy, but we couldn't find anything nice, so we walked over to the pet shop over at koi where we both immediately snatched up a hedgehog toy :3 :3 :3 it's squeaky and sugar loves it. in fact, we're playing with it as i type :)

currently waiting for jt to come over from SIM, which i'm hoping he does cos if he doesn't i think i will resort to play raving rabbids alone.

oh, and remind me again why i never gave copeland a chance?

alt+f4

2011-03-27T00:08:00.002+08:00

2 whole days spent curling up in weird positions on couches with each another and watching tv till we fall asleep. thanks for being there. it was fun, escaping the world for awhile.

don't need no satisfaction

2011-03-23T23:19:00.000+08:00

this shall be a long, wordy post of what i did today.

woke up and felt really tired but i decided to drag myself out of bed in order to be on time for econs which i failed in doing because when i reached the train station, i had to wait for 2 trains before being able to commute because people were as packed as sardines in a can in the cabin. txted terrence to help me sign my attendance and jazz. turned out he only just woke up -_-

so, yesterday when javier, royce, krichelle, terrence, jt and i went out, the city college people bought umbrellas from daiso and swore to bring it today. the sun was bright and the weather forecast predicted a clear day, but i still brought my umbrella. ..i was the only one. @#$#%@&@#

A2 for econs! many many many thanks to krich :3 so yehmon. econs was nothing today, just people going to mr kenny for compassion marks, so THS (HAH THS goodness golly) went out to esso to buy drinks and all that. hahaha i love saying it. THS THS THS THS.

tiong for lunch, weichieh bought bubble tea for me :3 skipped math, planned to go home, but the desire (guffaw!!) to see my boy was too much to handle so i took a bus over to hwa chong. climbed the goddamned hill cos i thought he was going there. luckily i called him. if i didn't i think he would've just walked over to the bus stop and taken a bus straight home. the day was freakishly hot.

went to his place. wanted to swim, but we went upstairs, turned the AC on, and promptly forgot about our cooling down plans. ..that's probably why i am fat. - speaking of fat, people seem to think i've lost weight again. seriously wondering if i have some kind of mental disorder because i really think i could do with some weight loss.

had dinner over at jt's, then went to walk sugar! :3 first time she's been out on foot - well paws - and she was so interested in everything! met a boy pom pom and the owner was so happy to let them meet :3 sugar was so scared/excited/happy to see a boy. d;

led sugar on her first cat chase and she succeeded! the cat ran away. btw sugar's bark is really pathetic hehehe. royalville's cats are anything but afraid of my baby girl.

came home, cleaned sugar up and i headed home

fuck i am damn tired now i cannot function good night everybody bye bye.

the soldier in your eyes

2011-03-23T00:11:00.003+08:00

wonder if anyone misses my frequent blog posts..

you oughta know

2011-03-20T14:10:00.000+08:00

definitely a picture post. i haven't updated my computer with pictures in so long, there are so many pictures, all of them are on facebook already though.

this was tattoo day. accompanied tzehao to do his sugar skull and it was a 4-5 hour long session.

hah only tzehao, pearlynn and i know why jt's face looks like that. d;

in social studies. fuquan went out for a smoke so isaac and i raided his bag and we found plasters so we decided to use it. fuquan came back and he got sad and a bit mad cos his plasters were finishing. :(

so here's my sorry face.

i look so horrible just jt looks marvellous so i decided to do him justice.

heh heh.

this was some ahlian photo taking competition between tzehao and me. i thought i would've won..

plus my hair looks mighty fine

who can win the ahlian king. :(

tzehao looks so different btw.

sentosa photo! :3 there was this 1 day we all went to sentosa, krichelle, fuquan, pearlynn, terrence, tzehao, jt and i :3

big bag of chipotle fries!

weichieh sleeping in social studies class. isaac and i decided to teach him a lesson.

lion king day! we were at marina bay sands

sands theatre!

it was daddy's birthday ;)

this is my dog

happy facesss

cos i got navy blue braces.

curse you iphone earpiece.

jt is in love with me.

this was the erp gantry thing, and i love hipstamatic. everyone should get an iphone for that app.

point proven.

extra, extra!

2011-03-19T06:52:00.001+08:00

guess what! I'm sick again.

remember me telling the world I'm gonna have good luck and I will be healthy all year round because of my zodiac? bull fucking shit. ugh! I'm so pissed. so many bad things have been happening!

Jt's been sick this year too and this is the 3rd time I'm ill wtf I've never been sick this many times. double ugh.

feeling so horrible I wanna die. ;(

facade

2011-03-13T15:45:00.000+08:00

you hurt me. i thought i meant something, i thought by some foolish chance i'd help you through your current tumultuous life and you'd accept my help. weeks ago he told me if you asked me for help i should give it. i was all up for you to come to me and ask me, 'mat can you listen to me, and not judge me? can we have one of those conversations again?' but it all never happened.

i thought i could save you; not swim into the ocean and drag you to shore, but at least toss you (with good aim) a life buoy of some sort. it didn't work out. i couldn't find you. ..literally.

this isn't all about myself, but i'm making it to be.

samaritan

2011-03-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

wanted to blog about the sufferings in the circle of life and whatnot, but i decided i'm not cut out for such philosophical matters, so i shall continue to blog about what i did today, and yesterday, and the day before yesterday.

okay so i confess, i can't remember for nuts what i did. more exciting news that's happened: yesterday was daddy's birthday. had high tea at equinox, then 6 of us squeezed into daddy's car and got ferried to marina bay sands where we miraculously walked around for more than an hour. #feat

caught lion king! it was pretty okay, not amazing but yeaaaaaa.. pretty okay. :3 teared a couple times, then went out for twix during intermission with jt hahaha. he kept dropping my things. first my ring, then my stud, which he managed to lose. -_- so now i'm wearing a earstick as a replacement for my septum ring.

made jt go home with me :3 and then i threw a tantrum, so he decided to buy me a paddington bear tote from the petrol kiosk, more so to appease me than anything. so cute. him, and the bag. hahaha. it's waterproof some more! yes that is my auntie side showing.

today, bought 8 year series (HAHA). got so bored doing the chemistry papers at home that i started txting jt really cheesy txts. e.g. the moon shines for you my darling. the stars pale in comparison to your bright smile.
so on and so forth. it was quite hilarious. then he suddenly appeared at my door step. heh heh. :3

sat and studied, then went to parkway for food and koi. came back and i think he got pretty pissed at me cos i'm a lousy math student, guffaw. sorry bubby d;

ugh. i'm cold and my arms hurt now. i'm signing off for some patapon/sleep. good night ciao.

i'm sick

2011-03-06T02:05:00.000+08:00

barely recovered for 2 weeks and now i'm down with the flu again, though i don't know if it's caused by jeremy or by other factors. feel so #$#@%#, especially now because i have a bloody stuffed nose and my ears are blocked and i can't breathe for the life of me.

i apologise for the lack of posts (1 week, what an achievement! shows that i've been busy hehe), days have been spent with school and jt. tests are coming, and to be honest i am pretty nervous for my math test, judging from how i haven't been listening since last week and miss jas has given up on me. don't get me wrong - i asked her to do it. truth be told i kind of regret it, but it feels good to listen to music and doodle for an hour and 15 minutes every other day in school d;

so what's more that has been happening? i got inked, twice. scorn me but i got a pokemon gym badge on my nape and deathly hallows on my chest. haha, i love it though it's a pain to keep it hidden from jt's family. speaking of that, his er jie asked me to try this top she bought and she saw it. pray to god she won't say. i would positively kill myself.

also, jt's been addicted to pokemon on my dslite (why did i even introduce it to him.....) and i in turn just got hooked on patapon 2.

met james yesterday for pool at cuscaden. wanted to finish off a quick match with jt and i ended up getting 3 abrasions on my fingers cos i slid them across the pool table. facepalm.

met james again today, and mond, and annie (sp??) and rachel/rachelle/rachael(sp?!?!) today at ion where we walked to taka to take a look at the horrible, horrible, horrible band that was playing. after that, saw fuquan and terrence outside armani, so sat with them then we all walked to cine together for pool. mond and company disappeared, saw plenty o' other people, then went to eat at the hongkong cafe with the boys and jt. laughed like there's no tomorrow. i love seeing jeremy laugh like crazy, it's epic cos he rarely does haha.

bubs sent me home and we all made an impromptu plan to un-impromptu-ley meet at sentosa for beach volleyball which i have a feeling will not happen. i hope it does though. i did 100 crunches tonight just for it and another 100 tomorrow when i wake up followed by another 100 before i leave my place.

i need to sleep now. good night.

xx

no angel

2011-02-26T12:34:00.000+08:00

geez i don't know what to say..

designed for glitter and gold

2011-02-22T01:15:00.000+08:00

welcome to my universal studios post ^.^

just kidding i'd rather let the pictures do the talking hehehe but i will talk also la.

so anywaysss! woke my sister up early to drive me to USS where we had breakfast with mom and JT at toast box before we met up with jt's sister, yvonne, and her husband, edmund.

he's very proud of himself cos he's holding my bag

and we're in!

don't worry, there are really few couple photos hahaha

this is my 'trust me, let's go this way' face.

went to the lost world first cos we figured there wouldn't be anyone deep into the park yet. so went there, and the bloody queue was 65 minutes long for the canopy flyer.

queued 30 minutes for the rapid adventure where JT and i got soaaaaaked. accompanied him back to the hotel to change, poor soul had to walk there with blisters on his feet cos his vans got wet ;/

stopped to get my picture taken with woody woodpecker!

had to buy shoes. walked past the casino's grand entrance and he felt so self conscious he bought a pair of sanuks. $105. -_-

looks disgustingly like a close-toed pair of crocs but apparently it's quite comfy

came back and saw the dinettes on the way, then the guy ones

so was looking at the roller coaster and wondering le-sigh, when can i ever get to ride it?

lonely, lonely sad lonely closed roller coaster

snapped a shot and looked down dejectedly. then seconds later, i heard screams from up above.

and then a chockful of people flew over me.

that was when i clutched - not exaggerating - JT's arm and forcibly shook him and asked, 'those were humans right?' when he nodded my heart soared.

LSD ROLLER COASTERSSDDDDDDDD

went to take it it was fucking awesome. no queue some more hahahaha my life is now complete.

went for lunch at mel's diner! :3

boyprewn waiting for seats.

waiting for nomnoms.

'can you smile or not?' 'cannot.'

jt refuses to smile with teeth.

gave up on him and took a picture of the jukebox and those rotating records.

ahlian moment.

boyfriend playing pokemon diamond haha.

got bored so i was like, 'baby can you smile for photos? like this i show you!'

he gave me this.

... -_-

our turn to get food! ^.^

sat on the benches to wait for the madagascar show.

couldn't be fucked to queue to take pictures with the mascots so we amused ourselves by staring at this dude. he's hilarious!

queueing for the shrek 4d show

shrek show! :3

walked to the water show after, and it was awesome! the entire show was amazing. pity i didn't catch it the first time.

took the mummy's revenge ride next! :3

jt pulled one of his muscles though, from the back jerk. ;/

was trying to get off the arm hahaha

sneakily adding in a battlestar galatica photo.

to those who haven't sat it yet: HA HA HA

to those who have: .. you think big ah

went to go play with the hats!

most epic:

i will protect you and help old ladies cross the street.

'i will mug you'

JT and i went for lights, cameras, action, then we all met up again and yvonne and edmund sent us to vivo :3

but not before visiting the candy shop!

you want some reese's peanut butter cups?

or a lot of syrup?

went to dhoby ghaut to look for osmond.

mond mond the bear ^.^

ate ayam penyet there and nom nom then went home

actually i still have photos in my handphone but i'm so lazy D; sorwee. okay that's all folks.

today i went to jt's after school to finish my ss work. he did his economics and i wrote a card for his mom wishing her a happy belated birthday and thanking her for the USS ticket :3 it was the hardest card i ever wrote. ..i have never written a thank you card (except the occasional ones to aunty d'arne and uncle joe but that's a joint family effort, all i have to do every year is sign at the bottom and add a few 'x's and 'o's), moreover in chinese!

left home for aston, then saw jt's parents there hahaha fail whale. went home after that :3

xx bye everyone hope you all enjoyed.

universal studios

2011-02-20T22:23:00.002+08:00

wondering if i should blog about today right now, but i shall go shower and edit some photos before i decide. good day, everyone. ciao ciao

open your eyes

2011-02-17T21:04:00.000+08:00

yesterday saw me taking a bus down to bukit timah in order to take care of my sick boyfriend but ending up with me puking twice and catching a fever so bad i got forced to eat medicine and sent home by sick boyfriend. i am so useless -_-

came home and KO-ed. jt left at 6ish i reckon and dad came back to fetch me at 7pm for my doctor's appointment. i apparently have a stomach flu that i thought got better but right now i'm feeling sick as hell again.

made daddy send me to bkt to see jt for an hour because sick + lack of boyfriend is not doing well for me. i hate this so much. really wonder how people can go days on end without seeing their significant other goodness gravy.

i hate life right now so much you don't even know. worst part? when someone becomes someone else, and you can't do anything to stop them, because there's nothing more you can do - they just won't listen.

this boy

2011-02-14T01:02:00.000+08:00

past 2 days have been awesome. spent almost the full 2 days with jeremy and life has never been sweeter. stayed home on friday and we whipped up a storm (eh heh mushroom and chicken campbell soup (cos he likes mushroom and i like chicken so we compromised and bought the 2-in-1 one with potatoes) and nuggets) and watched 50 first dates together.

woke up the next day and i made him go all the way down to suntec with me. he said if i were to eat subway or mcdonalds there he would kill me because there is mcds at king albert park and subway at holland. so i got forced to eat dim sum for breakfast at crystal jade. ambitious jt decided to order carrot cake (quote, SURE CAN FINISH ONE! unquote) which i had to eat in the end cos he was too full from his stupid porridge.

went to parkway after that then he sent me home before chilling back at his crib while i went to my grand uncle's house for curry puffs haw haw.

godpa's memorial service at some chapel, then daddy sent me to jt's. left for dinner later on at brewerkz @clarke quay. refused to let jt drink haw haw. besides, brewerkz's pretty strict. oh and he decided to make me :$ like crazy by buying me a stupid rose from the hawkers. (so sweet i love you, thank you!) i was the only idiot around other than the hawkers holding a pink rose. NYEH! :$:$

yehmon. went home early, watched paa but i fell asleep. poor boy had to pack up by himself and everything. the only thing i remembered was me waking up and walking to the room to knock out again.

i have a habit of waking jeremy up at 7isham every morning, it's uncanny. went out for breakfast, then sent jt to gleneagles and then came home to KO for 6 hours. time seems to pass slow only when i am either a) without jeremy or b) sleeping

soo.. it's valentine's day tomorrow. i have biology first thing in the morning. HAHA. apparently i am to appear at orchard to meet the boy. but seriously it don't matter if we're eating steak at a fancy restaurant or char kway teow at newton because i will be happy with whatever we do. we can even spend valentine's day at redmango, i really don't care (because redmango has kickass yoghurt hehehe).

mmk, shall go surf the net a bit more then sleep for school tomorrow. oh, and i love you jeremy :)

my story

2011-02-11T18:20:00.002+08:00

this week passed mundanely, so i'm asking for once, god, be kind.

turn old

2011-02-07T20:26:00.000+08:00

thought i'd have an early night yesterday but i ended up going down to osmond's to watch the chelsea vs liverpool match and then go to school the next day.

liverpool won. torres' face was priceless. other than that, the match was uneventful. end of commentary.

decided to sit in osmond's room and freak ourselves out with stories of spirits and voodoo and whatnot, then went to sleep after that. nyeh it was good sleep.

woke up at 11, took a cab to jt's, then he fetched me to go eat at the factory place next to my school. went for an hour's worth of social studies, then left. sent weichieh to town and isaac to macs where we got ice-cream, yay.

went back to jt's, he slept while i surfed the net, then i went back home cos he was going for dinner with his parents, but then his parents ditched him for some concert so now he's coming over and i hope he comes over safe, my god.

cancerians should not be burdened by how they worry so bloody much all the bloody time!! :(

oh shoot

2011-02-07T18:49:00.001+08:00

yellow fever

2011-02-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

happy chinese new year yellow people! chinese new year has been pretty fair to me this year i think. finding a way to recuperate my losses ($15 i am a pussy) from mj tonight or tomorrow, hahahaha. everyone's calling me a pussy cos i play 10cents 20cents. :(

new year flowers outside my door ^^

half day at school! i think my current hair colour looks good with a bandanna hahaha.

left to right, isaac, ryan, tzehao, terrence, and me! we were the only people who were in school hahaha.

reunion dinner. i decided to take a picture and show jt heheh.

baby cousin! and ching.

1st day of new year. daddy holding an XO bottle haw haw.

polaroids :)

snuffy!

chelsea. fucking cute. every year i take a new picture of her.

my new toms :) :) can beat jt's red vans haha.

CUTE BABY!! i don't know if he's my cousin or not but his name is hugh.

LOOK AT THE MINISCULE TOES OMG.

went drinking with leandre and jt last night at the same pub. met a few people, said hi to james and UGH i can't remember her name, i think it's nicole. but yes and xiaohei. haw haw.

new favourite beer

so now we have to treat leandre cos we didn't succeed in paying and the last thing i remember was everyone telling me to put on my shoes hah hah i fucking hate shoes when i'm high. tried a lot of new drinks last night and most of them were crazy lethal. still i think i drink more at chips cos i can puke my guts out at chips so..

yes i should go now. goodbye all.

eyegasm

2011-01-30T20:54:00.000+08:00

photos over the days:

2nd day of orientation.

i am the mayor of osmond's pretty cottage (at claymore)

buying bubble tea. bubby when you see this don't kill me, i'm not trying to remind you of your long brown hair. ^^ ♥ you don't be sad!

steamboat with leandre (left) and mike mike mike. told the two boys to smile and this is what they gave me. HAHAHA.

leandre and mike and jt's hand giving me food i think.

what i wore to meet jt after his er jie's wedding.

waiting for dad to drive the car over. haw haw jt looks like he's 25.

terrence's shirt. so funny, it's like another version of where's waldo.

outside jt's place. it's so wonderful :DD

ate at the handburger and this was what i had.

i'm sorry

2011-01-26T01:24:00.000+08:00

really wanted to blog, but i am pissed tired (would've been pissed drunk if it weren't for the rain today. would've just been leaving chips!) and i have to wake up at 7.45am tomorrow so forgive me for neglecting my blog. will leave you guys with highlights of this week.

1st day of official school (jan21st?): lessons were funny
jan22nd: met jt, went to town i suppose, i think we ate redmango haw haw haw i can't bloody remember shit. oh wait i think we went to bugis. aiya what the fuck.

jan23rd: jt's er jie's wedding :) :) met him at fep, we were both really formally dressed (i did to fit in) and wearing purple unintentionally. quite awkward, but it was fine hahahaha. jt was pretty stoned from the liquor so i took the liberty of leaving him alone for an hour to my french manicure while he sat there and waited (and fell asleep hahaha) but thank you! love you :)

ate redmango (EVERY SINGLE DAY) caught burlesque. good show, except they weren't really dancing burlesque in burlesque, which was disappointing. real eye candies though.

jan24th: went cuscaden, met nigel, osmond, dennis, other people i don't know, sorry! got locked in a staircase because dennis was being mean. is his name dennis? i don't even hahaha. but yea, wasted money on the stupid photo hunt machine (btw bubby i realised the sensor is a bit fucked so if the next time we play again you have to touch a bit above where you mean to touch - that whole sentence sounded REALLY kinky) and then left for.. well you guessed it. redmango. the girl remembers me now. redmango pwns frolick handsdown. maybe it's cos i'm not a guy haw haw haw. had strawberry flavour! :) also, best fries forever.

today:
skipped bio, missed 1 961, went to bubby's, went to fetch mike, almost got into an accident (heart never thumped that fast nor that hard before. fucking mercs), went back to jt's, wanted to watch a movie at home but decided against it, devoured chicken and bak kwa, mike went home, went to town, initially wanted to go to chips, decided against it cos weichieh wasn't going, ate at handburger (disappointing. not worth the raves), scintilli (thank you bubbyboyyy!), forever 21, uniqlo, jt sent me home. :)

SO FUCKING TIRED. ok this post was longer than i expected. shall go to bed now. i have dental on friday. note to self lest i forget. anyways, ciao bella

first day

2011-01-17T22:38:00.000+08:00

basically sums up my first day.

dog i want.

boyfriend.

when you're in love

2011-01-16T16:21:00.002+08:00

nothing else matters.

2011-01-14T11:33:00.001+08:00

i am so happy for us. not just for me or you, us.